The Logistician, or ISTJ

The little sister you didn’t know you needed, until now

I’ve been wanting to dabble into writing on other personality types from the Myers Briggs typology test, so here goes. What is this personality test? You can read more about the study here.

You may not appreciate my fascination with this, and that’s fine. Part of the reason I became interested in this personality test was because of the ISTJ. What is that?

It is a specific personality, under the “Sensor” or “Sentinel” category. The letters are an acronym that stands for: introverted, sensing, thinking and judging. This is also the personality type of my younger sister.

To break it down as simply as possible, I’ll briefly describe aspects of what this means (if you can add any extra thoughts in the comments you are more than welcome to share). Introversion vs. Extroversion is described as how we get our energy, either alone (introverts) or with people (extroverts). However it has been said that the healthiest place for a person to be is somewhere in the middle, which also has its own name now (ambivert). Both my sister and I have tested as introverts, but as we get older and move outside our comfort zones we are definitely becoming more ambiverted as time goes.

Sensing (her second letter in the acronym) has been described as how we take in information. For her, and many, it would be through the five senses. What you physically see, hear, smell, you get the picture. Don’t we all do that? Of course. However this describes a category of people who are more grounded and present than others.

I on the other hand have a difficulty being mentally present even while physically present because I’m somewhat of a dreamer and am frequently lost in thought trails. Sensors have an easier time appreciating the here and now, and not getting lost in the past/future or reading in between the lines. This is a feature I’ve come to appreciate more and try to learn more from in my sensor friends.

The “T” stands for thinking, as mentioned. Obviously we all think, and use our brains (or at least we would like to think so). Thinkers are described as using logic to determine their decision making skills. Putting feelings aside, they will take the most logical course of action. While others, such as myself may have a difficult time implementing logical courses if I know it may hurt someone else’s feelings so I try to do it in a very delicate way. My sister at least has no problem telling you how it is as directly as possible. “I don’t use fluffy words”, as she’s said before.

It’s not to say they don’t have feelings that can blur logic. Feelings are fundamental to human nature (unless, perhaps for sociopaths?). I’ve seen this many times, and I believe it’s often forgotten that feelings such as anger, frustration, etc are just that… feelings. Not all feelings are of the “fluffy” sort. I’ve also seen sensors fall head over heels, hopelessly in love, even foolishly time again just as any “Feeling” type personality would.

Last but not least, we have the “J”/judging nature. While this can literally mean to judge, it more stands for those who prefer a sense of routine and order. Those who prefer rules, knowing what is expected of them, deadlines, etc. We can all be flexible in how much we might lean one way (like being a person of order/routine) but some of us lean a little more this way than others.

Why did this personality type fuel my desire to learn more about personalities? My whole life, my sister and I have had personalities that can feel like oil and water. Sometimes we just can’t see eye to eye.

It’s not to say we don’t get along, on the contrary…When it comes to humour, and what kinds of movies or books we prefer, we are on the same page. We’ve even shared the same friends most of our lives. We can have a really good laugh, and we used to entertain my mom together on our long car rides home from town.

However when it came to interpersonal skills, for me, I didn’t understand why she would go about one way. To me, it was clear cut and albeit logical that to say something to someone in a certain manner, would get this type of reaction. She would end up in these similar predicaments of conflict and I felt like I needed to help her, help her come to my logic and understanding. What was common sense to me, was not to her.

On the flip side, she has had many frustrations with me when it comes to my understanding of technical things, and of why she felt the need to say or do things a certain way. I didn’t have the common sense that she possessed.

Learning that there are a whole group of people whose minds work in this way, helped me to understand that neither my way nor hers was necessarily correct. There is more than one way to be, and one way to perceive a matter. It has helped me to appreciate her more instead of feeling the need to correct or adjust her.

Nobody works as tirelessly as she does to reach a goal. She will bend herself backwards, and work thanklessly in behalf of others time and again to the point I think she’s going to crash and burn. She always manages to get back up again, like some sort of super human.

She is also fiercely loyal to her friends. She doesn’t let a lot of people in, so if you’ve been chosen you’re among a special few. It also means that each gift and act of service she does for you will go above and beyond. These will fill a very specific need or want that you may have thought nobody noticed. She did, because she’s observant and caring. Even if it’s difficult for her to say “I love you”, you will know she feels it by how she spoils you with her generosity and selflessness to serve you.

Not all ISTJ’s may fit this bill. I find that the same types may share a similar foundation, and leaning, but what they build off of that foundation is entirely unique to them. So don’t worry, I won’t pigeonhole any two to be identical by any means.

Do you know any ISTJ’s?

Discovering Your History

We all know and see traits whether it be physical or a certain manner from our parents/grandparents, we see where we got our eyes from or our walk. Its still amazing to me how we pass on little pieces of ourselves for generations. Can you think of a trait you have that everyone in your family says “you got that from…”?

Everyone says I look like my mom, and laugh like her (it’s probably more of a cackle than anything). Little pieces of me don’t belong to her, like my eyes, or my personality, but it’s still fascinating. Even children separated from their parents can display manners and interests from their birth families.

Who even cares to ponder these things? I do! I love people watching and seeing families go by and wondering their stories but also clearly seeing some definitive traits that have been passed on. We are obviously more than our exteriors, with each our own rich inner worlds and experiences that shape us to be who we are today and tomorrow… and still there are some things we inherit like hand me down clothes from those before us.

Experiences, such as trauma can be generational. Certain talents or interests can also “run in the family” as they say. Do you ever wonder about those oddities about yourself that nobody else has?

I feel like the only highly sensitive empath in a sea of rational thinkers sometimes in my family. Where did I come from? Why am I the way that I am?

I love to have chats with my grandma for this very reason. I’m thankful I have not one but two grandmas left. I love to hear family stories, about the great and great grand grandparents… their lives, and their history. What made the family who it is, what changed or who stayed the same?

I didn’t grow up with all of my family around but still enough. My family, on both sides are all immigrants from Finland. My grandparents immigrated to Canada and this is where I eventually came into the picture but interestingly enough I actually have aunts, uncles and cousins in Finland.

Side note this is another story BUT my maternal grandfather left a family behind in Finland, that I was unaware of until I was a teenager. One of my aunts came to visit us in Canada. Unfortunately but these stories of abandoned families are all but too common.

Thinking of immigrants, and all the many nationality’s, cultures, and languages out there we all have so much variety to draw on. Some cultures are known for certain qualities or traits but obviously we do learn that we can’t pigeon hole entire nations/cultures to be a certain way just as I exemplify in my little family that some just don’t fit in the same. I’m thankful for the variety and I’m glad we can take the time to enjoy the beauty in other cultures, and all learn from each other.

Do you wonder how much you would change if you were from another culture or family? For instance, my French-Canadian husband will tease me, imitating me with a straight face saying “this is amusing” when something is funny. I consider myself an expressive person but maybe not as much as compared to others? I can be more reserved and closed off, like most Finns I suppose. I don’t laugh very easily, or maybe it’s my humour but I usually irritate jokesters because I won’t just laugh for anyone or anything. What about you? Can you think of cultural qualities you might have?

Sometimes as a feeling personality I “feel” out of place in my family. Yet also out of place with other typical Canadian traits (although I do apologize more than my fair share) and also out of place with native Finlanders. Can you relate?

I laugh thinking about this. My sister had a project to write about her family in French class and of me she wrote: “Nadia est le mouton noir de la famille” (Nadia is the black sheep of the family). We have an odd dry humour, that makes digs at each other but perhaps there was some truth behind her words.

Black sheep, or white sheep, I find family dynamics and history so intriguing. This post is more of my rambles and musings with no real concrete information, just looking to find likeminded thinkers on the discovery of your history. It’s for this reason I love those shows on finding your ancestry.

Hopefully I’ve left you with some thoughts, and a reminder: if you have grandparents to reach out to, please do. Learning family history can only go so far, once they are gone all that knowledge leaves with them. I can also note that most older ones feel neglected by the young and so personal interest in them and their story is sure to brighten their day.

Baking with grandma is a favourite pastime of mine

Also, it’s important to remember that you can create new, healthier patterns to pass down. I was always so terrified when I was younger that I was doomed to follow the same pattern as my parents. You can break the mould, and that part is oh so freeing once you realize it.

Happy Tuesday.

INFJ: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

When you start to feel not as rare anymore

The infamous, INFJ… declared as among the most rare of personalities, with ability to intuit and absorb the feelings of others. Guided by a gut feeling, sense of inner purpose and the power to act. Personalities may not mean much to you, and honestly that’s not a bad thing. What letters label a person, do not ultimately define someone as good or bad, gifted or not, or what have you. It’s what you do that matters.

What is an INFJ anyway? It’s a personality type, from the Myers Briggs typology test. The letters stand for: I-introverted, N-intuitive (two I’s next to each other just doesn’t make sense), F-feeling, and J- for judging. Curious what type you are? Here’s a link: Free Personality Test

This is a topic of great interest to me for some twelve years now. I ferociously devour whatever reading I can on the subject. Partly because of bias, I am an infj. However, some things I say may surprise you.

1. I don’t believe INFJS are as rare as they say they are. I’m inclined to distrust how the data is recovered, and to put full faith that the percentages they feed me are fact. In my life I have moved countless times, to other cities and countries. In my volunteer communities I have immersed myself into each place and being me… I love to get to know people and dig down deep so I get to nitty gritty- including personality talk. With that said, I have met in person more than ten other INFJs. I can’t say the same for other types. It seems I continue to meet a disproportionate amount of INFJ’s, who I know are not mistyped as some might argue.

2. Intuition is not a super power. For one thing, not all gut feelings are true. A lot of them are but not all. I’ve been surprised, to learn the motive or reason behind someone’s mood or action has been different than I imagined. Intuition is far from fool proof.

Additionally, it’s not as if those moments of being correct benefit you or others in some great way the majority of the time. Just because you sense someone might regret a decision later, and maybe even warn them, doesn’t mean they will listen to you and be happier for it. People will generally do what they want to do anyways. So you’re left with this sadness wishing you hadn’t seen the writing on the wall. I also don’t enjoy knowing and feeling when someone is upset or doesn’t choose to like me. I wish I could be oblivious like some, march to my own beat and carry on. Even if someone changes their opinion of me after, it’s hard for me to erase the memory of the moods I felt from them of strong dislike. I hold on to those and distrust that person, further pushing them away. It’s a hilarious dance. I observe the seemingly carefree way of those who don’t pick up on those cues, who have an easier way with people as a result, and they don’t lay awake dissecting all these interactions and moods days or years later.

3. INFJs don’t necessarily make the best of friends. I have met some INFJS who hurt me immensely. We were able to become fast friends and dive in deep into each others lives but maybe too deep. Complicated in nature, through many twists and turns in emotion I came away from door slams in my face wondering how I got there in the first place.

From the sounds of this article you would think I was the most jaded judger of my own “kind” or “type”. Not so! While I am cautious now as I meet other infj’s, I do have some great ones in my life as well. I think perhaps my experiences have helped me see a more balanced perspective on all the clout INFJs are given, as some rare beautiful unicorn… to another flawed personality with their own foibles. In fact, I appreciate now more the other types.

I’m not looking for more INFJs in my life. I don’t seek to find this kindred spirit, or reach an epiphany moment of belonging. I find the more time I spend with others unlike myself, who have strengths in other areas, balances me out more and challenges me to grow beyond my definable box. Perhaps then these letters don’t really define me, but I define me.

If you’re still curious what an INFJ is you can get an overview here.