“How are you?” “Good thanks”, and then you move on to business. We are so used to these greetings and formalities that we don’t really think twice about it. Occasionally someone might hint at things not being quite perfect by saying “I’m fine” or “okay” but the one on the receiving end usually doesn’t properly digest that and simply carries on anyways.
We are expected to generally be okay. People also don’t care to hear anything less than that, getting into the uncomfortable parts of life makes them well… uncomfortable. Those less than savoury parts of life people would prefer to swipe past like an ad on your social media feed.
Speaking of social media, what do we usually see? The happy places, times, the highlights and exceptional pieces of others lives. The glamour, the dreamy vacation spots we wish we could all afford, or the beauty that seems unattainable (well let’s be honest, it is– it only exists with digital touch ups and who can honestly afford to make their looks their primary focus with personal trainers/chefs and stylists). We regularly are bombarded with this propaganda, and anything less than that seems dreary and depressing.
If we want to open up and share, it can sound like to others as if we were a mess. A mess that needs to be cleaned up. Grab the broom and dust pan and let’s collect those bits we don’t want to see and throw them in the bin.
Smiling faces, perfectly put together with no hint of weakness. The characters that “put it on” or “lay it on thick” make me feel sick sometimes. Nobody can have it all together, and definitely not all the time. Show me something REAL. Don’t go on and on about everything going great in your life and everything that’s wonderful about you.
Sometimes it feels like you’re shoe shopping (I am not a shoe person for the record), and all the stores don’t carry your size. “Sorry there’s nothing for you here”. You just need something to strap on your feet for protection, but there’s nowhere for you. A place where you can be recognized and accepted with your needs (yes I realize this is a real problem for some because not all petite or tall shops cater to everyone).
It doesn’t mean that someone is falling apart if they need to express themselves and it doesn’t mean they’re crazy or to be pitied. These are real moments and facts in life and they come and go just as the exceptional moments do. Why is it so difficult to find those people who can just let their posture relax, sigh and say “yes, I get it. I feel that way too sometimes”.
This blog has carried some heavy subjects, sprinkled with lighter material as well. The reason is, if someone is feeling not okay, you’re not alone. It’s okay, and you can still be a success in life through those tough times. They pass. They also pass quicker when you have support.
If you find a blog that feels heavier, I’m okay. Maybe not all the time, and even if I’m not okay- I will be. I know that. I didn’t always know that, but with some time and support I learned that.
Wherever you are on your journey, just know it’s okay to not feel okay. Others have been there and survived. There will be beautiful days again where you’ll be so glad you stayed and fought a little harder.